Confrontation

A couple of hours ago, around 3am today, my sister and I were watching a show called Cheaters. I don’t know if you’ve come across this show but as the title suggests, it is about cheating on partners. The show goes like this… a person feeling something wrong with his/her partner (boyfriend, live-in partner, husband) asks the host of the show, an investigator, to do some surveillance. And when they are absolutely sure that the partner is cheating, caught in the act that is, then confrontation follows.

At one confrontation, the woman who was caught in the act with her lover, was really bursting with anger. She was angry with her boyfriend for bringing the tv cameras with him and confronting her about the affair. Do you know what happened? She went away with her lover! Unrepentant over what she was caught doing. Tsk tsk.

While watching the show, two things were running in my mind. First, is it legal to show on national tv the scenes caught on the surveillance camera? Remember, they are not doing anything illegal, illicit maybe but nothing illegal. Second, can you really solve anything with a confrontation? If you confronted your partner, with the tv cameras in tow, will it make him/her do the right thing?

At one point, with another case, the man was shown having sex with her other woman inside his car. It was blurred, of course. But you can make out what they’re doing. Then during the confrontation, the face of the woman was shown. She was clearly shocked that the man had a live-in partner all along. She is also a victim yet she was portrayed as a villain in that segment.

The point of this post is, personally, I believe confrontations will not solve anything. Based on my experience, it just incites more anger. If you can, try to calm down first and then talk things out with the one you are angry with. Wait for the right time. If you must confront the person right away, do not bring someone with you. A third person can only add to the anger and confusion. It must be between you and the person you are angry with alone.

And you know what, the other person, the lover, the third party, could also be a victim. You just never know.

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